March | 2022 | Living in America

Announcement related to the topic of “Self-Identifying”:

Modern society has moved to creating new norms and expectations of the masses needing to now honor people who are self-identifying as a gender opposite of the physical gender of which they were born or choosing to adopt gender neutrality all together. If a person self-identifies a gender not of which they were born we honor it.

I am therefore making it official today:

On the same exact grounds upon which we as a society have adopted it as acceptable to include legally requiring society at large to honor people who are self-identifying within the phenomenon of gender dysphoria and resulting transgenderism, I am coming out as self-identifying myself as having what could be described as “old-soulism” now actually claiming my age on a subjective basis to be 70 years which is 20 years older than my factually objective age of 50.

The grounds upon which I insist the world and most importantly the Social Security Administration and Centers for Medicare & Medicaid Services and Internal Revenue Service honor my soon to be filed claims that I am 70 years old (despite my having been born in 1972), is that I have for my entire life enjoyed music and entertainment and the company of old people from many, many decades ago. I’ve worked continuously since I was a kid with my newspaper route back in the early 1980s. Also, my current spouse of 18 years is twelve years older than me. Members of hers and my peer group are all retired people over the age 70 years old.

I feel old. I am old. I live old. Therefore I am self-identifying my age as 70 years old and I expect it to be honored similar to people who self identify as having different gender from which they were born.

Now please let me start my retirement effective today and begin drawing my Social Security, 401K without penalty, and enroll me onto Medicare immediately.

And while you’re at it, get off my lawn!